Disproportionate Anger

Has someone you know ever become really upset about a relatively trivial issue, unloading a tirade of anger and frustration that seem out of proportion with the severity of the matter at hand? In such a situation you begin to wonder, what is the real motivator of this outburst? Chances are, the unleashing of anger and frustration is related to an issue in the past. Let me explain. As humans, people often hold back their frustrations with others and are reluctant to reveal their hurt over minor matters. No attempt is made to resolve the concern. What happens when individuals do that, is that the next time there is a perceived wrong, the stored up pain and frustration begins to multiply. After this frustration has boiled under the surface for a long time, a relatively minor situation occurs, and the individual can no longer hold back. The resulting outburst of anger is disproportionate to the issue because of unresolved hurt . In other words, it is really brought on by anger over something or several things that happened a long time ago. Unfortunately, in the heat of the moment, all the anger and outrage is focused on a more recent singular event. The person who is upset may not even be able to make the connection and articulate that their real frustration has an older source. Over time bitterness has obscured the real problem. In some cases, the person at whom the anger is directed had nothing to do with the original situation.

How can one avoid this type of predicament? Encourage others to be open with you when they have an issue with you, or believe that you have wronged them. Make sure that you invite dialogue when they express a concern. Allow restoration and forgiveness to be the order of the day. Likewise, if you get upset with someone, don't let it boil under the surface. Much of the anger that could come if the situation is not resolved early, is based on wrong assumptions that could be cleared up with a simple conversation. Being honest about your feelings in the beginning, will help you avoid the need to unload a volcano of emotion on those around you. This is a principal that Jesus taught in Matthew 18. Jesus said, "if another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense." (NLT) Following this simple but powerful principal gives opportunities for relationships with others to grow through the resulting forgiveness and restoration.